Books as Lifelines for Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month

The Books that have been lifelines for me alongside yoga in my recovery from spiritual abuse.

Content Note: This post talks about spiritual and religious abuse, but not in detail except to define it, (although I do link to my story) and includes a handful of books that while not for everyone, may help someone trying to understand why something is not right.

I’m such a chronological thinker. I can trace back memories, thoughts, moments, and epiphanies, and the moment I read those words. A stack of books is so much more than mere words on pages. They have been lifelines for me. Some of my recommendations have changed a bit over time, but a few of those first few pivotal published works remain on my list. Some of these books are dear friends.

One more thing I’d like to add is that the phase of my life where I became aware of the spiritual abuse I was experiencing was a period of 2-4 years. I go into some detail around what this was like in my short-form podcast available here:

Defining Religious Trauma:

What follows is an excerpt from a paper I wrote for a class: Foundations on Psychological Science: On Being Human. For clarity of this post, Religious Trauma and Spiritual Trauma are interchangeable.

“Religious Trauma Syndrome” (RTS) is a clinical term coined by Marlene Winell, author of Leaving the Fold, originally published in 1993, and again in 2006. She describes RTS as the result of “authoritarianism coupled with toxic theology.” The Religious Trauma Institute (RTI) is actively researching “Adverse Religious Experiences,” a newer label for something that is not new. In addition to Winell’s, a number of books were originally published on the subject of Spiritual Abuse in the 1990s: including The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church by Jeff Vonderen and David Johnson (1991, 2005) and Healing Spiritual Abuse and Religious Addiction by Matthew Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn, and Dennis Linn (1994). The Linns understanding of Spiritual Abuse comes from St. Ignatius. “St. Ignatius understood that it is abusive to try to control another person’s spiritual journey.” The Linns were the first I’d heard to identify the connection of Spiritual Abuse with symptoms of PTSD.

This connection has been made more recently by Teresa Mateus, LCSW, who describes the “Moral Injury” of Spiritual Abuse. This type of Moral Injury “comes from being engaged in practices, a situation, or community group that utilizes practices against a person's set of moral values.” She names these wounds, Sacred, explaining that, “The sacredness of these wounds has a dual meaning—they are wounds in the sacred places of the self (the mind, the body, and the spirit), but they are also sacred in and of themselves.” Mateus describes enmeshments as a function of codependency in a religious context with Family Systems as the backdrop: “Community members are codependent on the institution and the dogma, and the institution is dependent on the doctrines, and the abused/traumatized persons often find themselves in the mid-dle of a web of codependency—on the family system, community, institution, doctrines and beyond.” Codependency and enmeshment in a religious context can make it very difficult to remove oneself from a “High-Control Religious Environment.” High-Control Religious Environments edge close to become cult-like, or displaying cult-like tendencies.

Characteristics of Spiritual Abuse

Additionally, Spiritual Abuse can be identified by the following characteristics, according to Kathryn Keller, PhD, who was a presenter at Beyond the Wound (mentioned below in my closing). Link to her therapy practise website, where she expands on each characteristic:

1. Abuse of Power

2. Suppression of Expression

3. Conditionality

4. Spiritual Injury

This Spiritual Abuse Questionaire is one of the first of its kind, a research based test that helps measure and evaluate instances of Spiritual Abuse - check out her post, it’s linked as a blog post and is easily digestible. Take care, it’s not hard to read through it and, well for me, nod to so many of the points. I especially appreciate the inclusion of Spiritual Injury, as this is briefly covered in Sacred Wounds, the third book named below. I also encourage taking a look at the information and resources available through Religious Trauma Institute, also mentioned above.

These are the books I have read and can recommend - On defining and Identifying Spiritual Abuse

• The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church by David R.
  Johnson and Jeffrey VanVonderen, (Minneapolis, Minn: Bethany House Publishers, 2005). Read Winter of 2015/16: this was the first time I read descriptions defining spiritual abuse that made me realize it was happening to me. Recognizing the subtly of it all was vital to my own understanding and realization. Related: Families Where Grace Is in Place by Jeff VanVonderen. I actually read this first, and while it is about families, the dysfunctional/toxic “family” dynamic of the church also began to reveal itself as I read it.

• Healing Spiritual Abuse & Religious Addiction Matthew Linn, Dennis Linn, and Sheila Fabricant Linn (New York: Paulist Press, 1994). This is a gem of a book. There are so many quotable, “nail on head” and “sigh of relief” aspects to this book. It is one of my treasured possessions and I cannot even lend it out anymore. The authors have a Catholic perspective and are gently critical while addressing the larger issues of power dynamics. Two parts that were particularly poignant to me address issues of maturity and feminism, [mis]use of Scripture to cause abuse, and clearly define that it is “abusive to control another person’s spiritual journey.'“ The Linns were also the first I had heard to connect Spiritual Abuse with PTSD. It also addressed one aspect that had been so painful and harmful to me, around the passage of “dying to self” and “taking up your cross.” I will copy the paragraph below because it is so powerful in its own words.
  
  On Scripture & Spiritual Abuse:

  Scripture is still often interpreted in ways that are abusive to women. For example, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me”, “he must deny himself’ is a prideful refusal to surrender ourselves. However, as Ann Ulanov points out, “for a woman sin is not pride, the exaltation of self, but a refusal to claim the self God has given.” Developmentally, if a woman (or a man) has not yet been affirmed in her right to claim and assert herself, she should not be pressured to deny the self she does not yet possess. In our culture women are taught to be codependent. i.e. to deny their reality and their needs and scripture has often been used to reinforce this.

  When I first read this paragraph, the brightest lightbulb lit up because this was exactly my experience and reading this was so validating.

• Sacred Wounds: A Path to Healing from Spiritual Trauma by Teresa B. Pasquale Mateus (St. Louis, Missouri: Chalice Press, 2015). As I mention above, Mateus offers the concept of Moral Injury as well as some case study examples to help recognize different instances of Spiritual Trauma and naming these wounds as sacred. It is a deeply vital and important work, and I found her tenderness was so caring. Of all the books mentioned, this may have the broadest scope in terms of background included in her case studies, and her own Catholic background.

• The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection through Embodied Living by Hillary L. McBride (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Brazos Press, a division of Baker Publishing Group, 2021). It is less specific to spiritual abuse than the ones listed above, but it addresses trauma in a relatable way, and hers is a trusted voice.

Other books that I have started, that deserve to be on this list as they are recommended by those I trust but I haven’t personally vetted in their entirety yet - and they are newer on my shelf:

• Something's Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse--And Freeing Yourself from Its Power by Wade Mullen

• Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church by Diane Langberg, (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Brazos Press, a division of Baker Publishing Group, 2020). - I truly think the more we can define and understand power, power dynamics, and agency, the better everyone will be. I am determined to be able to define it succinctly. Until then I will yell: “power dynamics!”

I’ll wrap up by saying, I’ve been working on this piece this week and decided to finish it as I was encouraged/inspired/motivated by the timing of the Beyond the Wound Summit (IG linked) taking place that began this morning (or yesterday, more likely when you read this). It is a wonderful, refreshing and deeply trauma informed event and you can still join if it interests you. I highly recommend it if you’re looking for more validation, information, or just hearing from others who get it.Their website: and Check it out here: (for the registration page).

I know Monday is Martin Luther King day, and I spent my evening watching King in the Wilderness and deeply encourage you to listen to any of his other speeches or sermons. Even after spending 10 weeks reading his sermons and writings for a class, I still have much to learn, but remain committed to learning and embodying not just nonviolence, but the Beloved Community. I am happy to share books and references on that by request.

I hope this has been helpful! May you feel that you can take what serves you and leave the rest. I’d love to hear one or two of your favorite books that are related in the comments below! What would you add to this list? This is my short list too, and I know there are massive gaps in intersectionality missing from my shortlist.